Being the Youngest in the Family.

Out of so many blessings that I received, having Timmy and Kelvin as my sibling is one of the BEST!

(from the left; my eldest brother, Timmy Lai and my second brother, Kelvin Lai)

Being the youngest in the family, I get a lot of attentions from them and also from my mum. I tend to have the attitude of wanting-to-get pampered but I wasn't brought up in such a way, therefore, ain't no pamper-ness here in my family!

Seriously, I missed growing up with my brothers. I don't have much childhood memories of growing up with them, maybe due to the age gap between both of them and I. Sometimes I wonder, how do they feel for having another younger brother? Do they feel excited to have another brother? Or do they get disappointed for not having a sister? My mum told me that actually my family was hoping for a baby girl but instead of getting what they were hoping, God gave them another boy and that's me! I know I wasn't in their plan but I wasn't an accident because I was fearfully and wonderfully created by God with a great purpose! And also because God wants to have the relationship with me, that's why He brought me to this world to enjoy His unconditional love.

(from the left; Timmy, Kelvin and I am the one on my mum's lap)

 

(from the left; me, Timmy and Tania)

My childhood memories with Timmy; He was the one who taught me how to cycle. One night, I remembered that I was with him on a bicycle and we were on our way to get something; suddenly we saw a snake on the road and both of us were so terrified! I am truly thankful and blessed that he brought me to Christ when I was 11 years old and my life was transformed gradually since then. 

Today; We are the bestest buddy! Sharing jokes and laugh out loud together, jokes that only both of us will understand. He always make sure that I have a proper meal and he even fetch me out to get McDonald's every time when I am hungry in the middle of the night. I thank God for the courage to make the decision to moved to Petaling Jaya to work and what a blessing indeed that I get to spend so much quality times with him before he is moving to his next stage of life of being a husband. Frankly, I am not ready to let him go but I know that he will be in good hands, someone who loves him very much and will take really good care of him!

(Kelvin and I)

My childhood memories with Kelvin; One very memorable moment with him was when we saw some kind of flying object that looks like U.F.O. that flew above us and we were chasing after it. No one actually believe on what we had saw as we were told them especially the adults. I used to play with him quite a lot especially with my toys.

Today; He is someone whom I miss very much especially spending time together. We are staying 349.7km away from each other. Thank God for technology where we get to keep in touch from time to time. It is always my mum's desire that I can go over to Singapore and work, so that I can accompany him, which is something that I wanted to do too but sadly it didn't come to past because I wasn't granted with the work permit to work there. Anyway, I am truly thankful that last year, God blessed us two special occasions where we get to spent some quality times together, one was our Hong Kong trip and another one was celebrating his birthday at Singapore and I am looking forward to more of it.

 (We are very much the Disney Kids!)

My dad didn't do much for his part as a father but I am thankful for both of them to fill in the gap in modelling me. Although I always refraining myself from getting pamper by both of them but I do enjoy getting their attention, well, being the youngest in the family, I always have the tendency to be pampered and spoiled at times. :P

 (from the left; me, Kelvin and Timmy)

Holding On

Bidding farewell to May and welcoming June in really soon; [time flies!] 2014, what an interesting year for me! By my own strength, I already feeling so fearful to continue the journey because of many uncertainties that surprisingly took place and some happened probably due to the decision that I might had wrongly made.

Such a long time I never felt so defeated and tired to journey on the destination! Rushing to catch from one train to another train can be really tiring especially with heavy luggage of uncertainties and worries. Sometimes, I felt like I just want to stop at one particular station and stop moving!

[Stop moving.... To catch my breath!]

Well, life is full of uncertainties and for some it can quite terrifying! If I am not careful, I might letting the uncertainties of life to paralyze me with fears! This year, I learned so much about being patience and wait upon God. When He started something in me, He will definitely bring it to completion according to His perfect timing. [He will never too early, never late but always on time!]

I always remember that someone had wrote this for my brother that also speaks to me so much that I remembered it until today...

"God didn't promise you a smooth journey in your life,

but He promised to walk with you every steps of your life!"

Recently, due to some uncertainties that I am facing, God never fails to show me that He is faithfully keeping His promises. And I am clinging to His faithfulness. My future is in His hands! The race is on and I am hanging on to His strength to journey on this race.

[Ting... Ting... Where is my next destination? I don't know but I am trusting the *Train Driver to lead me to the destination that He always wanted me to go!

*(The Train Driver who is my God who loves me unconditionally)]

...just a [Vulnerable & Imperfect] HUMAN

["I'm a writer. An amateur photographer. An actor.
I'm human, just like anybody else" - Ben Affleck]

I watched so much celebrities interviews recently on a famous talk show. What I have learned from what I have watched is that celebrities are just a human, someone who are also as vulnerable and as imperfect as we are. [Yes!] They are very much a human like you and I, who is also come from the same Creator! There is only one difference between them and us is that their career or job require them to be on TV, magazine or newspaper quite often and eventually making them a famous person.

[With Elvis Presley wax figure at Madame Tussauds Hong Kong]

Just because they are somebody famous, always on headlines, but does it mean that they are someone who is 'mistakes proof'? [Nope!] Sadly, people set a very, very high expectation on them; expecting them to be perfect, say the right thing, do the right thing and make the right choice. If you say that they are someone on the TV, therefore they have to [always] set a good example for everyone who are watching them, then, how about us? Well, we are not famous like them because our career or job do not require us to be on headlines or on TV but some of us are working in a very professional job [like doctor, engineer, pilot, bus driver, teacher, tutor, a church pastor, manager, businessman, etc] does it mean that we don't need to set a good example?

[Leave the celebrities alone, they are human too! We can make mistakes and so are they, therefore, we have no right to judge anybody! Everyone, including myself, should take responsibility to set a good example and making a difference in someone's life!]

To begin, it has to start from us! ["Be the change that you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi] Secondly, don't lose heart, keep showing your compassionate by bringing love to the people around you. ["People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care" - John C. Maxwell] Sometimes, life can be bad, unwanted circumstances can happen to anybody, therefore, with a compassionate heart, we can be the instrument or an agent for God to bring joy and comfort to the needy!

Don't underestimate yourself, what you are just a play a small role but who you are is more important; your character and your attitude is crucial when it comes to setting a good example and making a difference in someone's life and to the world! Yes, no doubt we are very much a human, often times a vulnerable and an imperfect one but if we begin with our willing heart by allowing God to make us as His vessel, don't be surprised, He can use us to do mighty great things for Him!

[Always begin with willingness and top up with LOVE!

"So no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. 

- 1 Corinthians 13:3b (MSG)"]

God bless! Cheerio :)

The Red Velvet Cake

Seriously, [nothing to be ashamed of] my first time eating red velvet cake was on last year! One of the patients from my hospital blessed the whole radiology team with her handmade red velvet cake or else I wouldn't have known about this cake. I was so touched and felt blessed by this token of appreciation from this lady [it might seems so little but it was a BIG thing to me]. First time eating red velvet cake and yet it was so meaningful to me. Therefore, from that day on, red velvet cake is not just a mere chocolate cake that tinted with red food coloring, it has become something significant to me!

[I was so excited; felt so touched and blessed, immediately, I took a picture of it and post it onto my Instagram account and shared the picture with my followers]

I know, sometimes our little act of kindness are very much taken granted for. But don't lose heart, keep doing it, keep showing your kindness because you will never know that this little act of yours might bring a GREAT joy in someone's heart, just like this lady who brought so much joy to me through her handmade red velvet cake but of course her act of kindness wasn't little at all but a BIG one for me!

So, are you ready to do the red velvet blessing? [Hahaha...]

I mean, don't lose HEART, go out and start making a difference, a HUGE one, in someone's life today!

God bless! :)

[p/s: Guess what, on my 27th birthday this year, my Besties got me a slice of red velvet cake for my birthday!]

The Weakest Me

"Do you ever have a problem in your life?"

"Why are you always smiling?"

"I like your 'No problem' attitude!"

"He always say 'Don't worry, it's okay!'"

These are the questions or comments that often times I received from people around me. Well, this is just one part of me.

People seldom see my weakest side which I always hiding! Probably pride is the main reason why I am hiding them; not willing to show the weakest me! Secondly, my assumption also one of the contributing factors; assuming people will not understand my weakness and also assuming on how people is going to look at me with my weakness!

What makes me or give me the courage today to write out this post about my weakness? Maybe because I am too tired of hiding and little by little of the tiredness that built up slowly in me eventually it would hurt badly someday, as now it's already hurting! 

I never pretend to be someone I am not; what you see is what you get especially the bright side of me! Therefore I am not pretending to be positive by hiding my weakest side. Nope!

I always make mistake and I am learning from my every mistakes to be a better person. Meantime, I always encourage people not to be disappointed by the mistake that they made because it can help them to be a better person BUT every time when I make mistake, I allow people to penalize me and I allow myself to accept my failure uglily and carry the heavy guilt by blaming myself and keep apologizing! But why? Why am I so harsh to myself? When people make mistake and they don't even bother to care how someone's feel and yet they can live they life as if like nothing happen!

Sometimes, I need to carry the guilt of something that I shouldn't be blame for. Maybe it is my mistake to be a people pleaser and the 'yes' man! Always being kind and gentle and always genuine but yet my emotionally is abuse badly and often my kindness and my gentleness are taken granted for!

As an extrovert, love to mix around and like to talk a lot has slowly turning into myself into an introvert because I am not willing to risk another painful event!

I know that I shouldn't be living in my guilt but the pain is just too real. I know God will see me through, He will and all I need now is His strength!

27 Years of Thankfulness

Last month, I just celebrated my 27th birthday. And it was really a blessed one with full of blessings, laughter, fun and surprises! As I am looking back at all these years, there were many precious moments that I really treasured, also many regrets, painfulness and learned many lessons, both good and bad! Who am I today, no doubt it come from a long way! But yet there is still a long, a very long way to go to be a better ME!

I thank God for all these years, if without Him, I won't be able to journey through these 27 years, especially in times of need! And everything that took place, it was meant for good for me as His child to fit into His great plan that He had prepare for me even before I was born into this world.

[Jeremiah 29:11 NIV - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.]

Thank you Lord Daddy!

I am really blessed that God crossed my path with many WONDERFUL friends and also blessed me an AWESOME family!

["It is exactly 7 days to my best friend's 27th birthday. I feel strongly to remind my best friend the significance of the number 7. 7 is often referred to as complete. I pray that whatever "unfinished" business GOD has started in him, GOD will see it to completion. 7 is also linked to restedness. I pray that in his 27th year, he will experience an unusual restedness and trust in God." -Jehanne Goh, my BEST friend]

[a BEAUTIFUL collage of me that made by my dearest cousin sister, Jean Ho]

Here are some photographs that captured down all the BLESSED moments for my 27th birthday celebration:-

[Part 1 - Homemade Purple Camera Black-forest Birthday Cake that made by my AWESOME cell group friends that known as the SEOW people :) Thank you everyone for the AWESOME cake and also surprise! I am really touched!]

[Part 2 - a BLESSED birthday celebration with my DEAREST family! Thank you mummy, brother and Tania :) I am really BLESSED!]

[Part 3 - Thank you BESTIES! The surprise was AWESOME and LOVELY! I am really touched and thank you very much for the FANTASTIC belated birthday celebration; a night that full of laughter and fun, truly blessed by you guys!]

[Part 4 - Thank you my BEACON colleagues! I almost had heart attack by the surprise ;) Hahaha... Anyway I am really THANKFUL for the birthday cake and dinner!]

And last but not least, thank you for all the birthday gifts, wishes and calls that I received! I am so blessed! :)

27 years, slipping through my fingers but no doubt, it was a blessed journey! I am really thankful and grateful. :)

["Today, I give thanks to everyone who has been part of my life's journey - unknown"]

I Am Back!

Wow, my last post was on the 6th of January 2013, it was like three months ago! In these three months, I was really busy. But in my midst of busyness, I had so much fun and excitement, and can't wait to share it all for what had took place on last three months. l^-^l

(pre-) My Best Friend's Wedding

My best friend, Nur Shakilah, who was also course-mate is getting married tomorrow morning and I am so excited about it! She is just like my twin sister; both of us share so many things in common :) She is my BEST friend!

The very last time that I saw her was during our convocation which was back in 2009. And I can't wait to see her tomorrow and attending her wedding. It is such a great joy for me that I able to attend her wedding. Congratulation Twin :)

1) Gift for her wedding...

2) My attire for tomorrow...

3) My camera is very important to capture her special moments...

4) My boarding pass, flying to Penang...

Am excited and can't wait for tomorrow!

God bless! Cheerio :)

Children Ministry

I started serving in Children Ministry since 2007 and my life was completely changed since then! When I started, I had this mindset that in a ministry is about ministering to the people that I am serving. But in Children Ministry, something is different than the ordinary and it is a very unique ministry that pack with many surprises for you to bring back home after the ministry gathering or event. I am so amazed on how God uses these little ones to minister to my life; I receive more than I give!

Cultivating the 'Child-like faith' is one of the many blessing that I received when I started serving in this ministry. Children's faith is so simple! When they pray, they really pray earnestly with great faith and trust in their heart! I still remembered during my very first mission trip to Cambodia, I was a student with so much limitation especially financially but with the 'Child-like faith' and trust that I had in God, He moved powerfully and went beyond my limitation. I experienced God's blessing before, during and after the mission trip!

'The Joy of the Lord is My Strength - Nehemiah 8:10'; listening to the children's angelic voices worshiping the Lord, always bringing so much joy to my heart. Sometimes, it soften my harden heart and stubbornness especially in letting go and in total surrendering to the Lord. In addition, worshiping together with the children is very joyful and very encouraging. They are the ones who taught me how to expressively worshiping the Lord like dancing, clapping, singing and shouting joyfully praising the Lord; just feeling free to worship the Lord without being self-conscious of myself.

Serving in Children ministry also help me to discover new gifts that God had prepare for me. It started with the gift of confidence to be on stage to do teaching, acting, singing and dancing! What a blessing to me that I had the opportunity to get involve in the clown ministry too, a gift that I never thought I will be having and enjoy doing it. I also received the gift of praying. Being in the Children Ministry, it helps me to pray fervently!

God always use the children to reaffirm me that I am always His precious child. My children in my cell group always come to me and tell me how much they miss me and some of them even will come to me to give me a warm hug. I remember that one day, I was really tired and a child came to me and gave me a tap on my shoulder and I was really encouraged by his little act of kindness that meant so much to me!

"Aren't you tired for serving every week?" - A question that people might ask! Well, it might be quite tiring sometimes especially when I depend on my own strength. But I can reassure you that serving in Children Ministry will be something very fulfilling with many excitement and joy! And when you are receiving this remarkable joy from the Lord, eventually, it will become your great and unfailing strength!

God bless! Cheerio :)

Clown Ministry

I got this book "Clown Ministry by Floyd Shaffer and Penne Sewall" from my pastor and after reading it, I am so inspired about this ministry! I did clowning before but I didn't really understand about this ministry and after reading the introduction and the testimonies of clowning ministry by the authors, I come to understand and realized that clown ministry can do far beyond what I can imagine.

My clown character, SMILEY; I don't know how this name came about and I also don't know what was the reason my mentor gave that name to my clown character but I really like the name! SMILEY always remind me about 'the JOY of the Lord is my Strength - Nehemiah 8:10'; Happiness change according to circumstances but JOY of the Lord always remain no matter what is the circumstances, there is where the strength come from! I am so encouraged and this is my desire bring this JOY of the Lord that I experienced, experiencing and going to experience to people around me through my clown character, SMILEY.

 Pastor Nancy (middle), she is my mentor who inspired me to do clowning ministry. I am really thankful and blessed to discover this new talent from her! :)

Check this out, posts about my experiences in clowning from my older blog:-

1. http://jackyltroy.blogspot.com/2007/12/clown-again.html
2. http://jackyltroy.blogspot.com/2008/12/jingle-bell-jingle-bell-clowning-all.html

Few points that I picked up from the book that really inspire me to do more in this ministry:-

1. Clowns can "minister" while walking in a parade, visiting the sick, working in a circus, doing a birthday party or whatever opportunity is open.
2. In clown ministry, the chief task is to be childlike, to give of oneself, elevate other persons to positions of worth and communicate clearly that they are loved.
3. God has a sense of humor - so do clowns. God is not rational or logical in human terms - neither are clowns. God uses principles of comedy - so do clowns.
4. We are called "fools for Christ's sake," to be weak so that others can be strong. What an honor and privilege that calling is!

God bless! Cheerio :)

My Favorite Cake Shop

Just now, I was having dinner and suddenly I thought of this cake shop that situated in Taiping, Perak, Malaysia. When I was a child, I used to drop by there and eat whatever cakes or pastries that I like, for free. *smiling* Actually, this cake shop owned by aunt, my mum's sister.

Well, it is not any ordinary cake shop that you see today. I don't know when was this cake shop opened but back in early to mid 90's, the setting of this cake shop was really different than today's cake shop. I was really young, all I could remember only two things about this cake shop:-
1. The pastry cabinet; which was very, very different! It made of wood -if I remember correctly- I went the back of the cabinet, slid the glass panel and then I just grabbed the cake or pastry that I want! *smiling*
2.  My aunt's chocolate tart! It was my favorite thing in the cake shop. In addition, I can ate it for free, aren't that awesome?

Now the cake shop is not there anymore; so sad but no matter what, it will always be the favorite cake shop of mine!

How I Wish I Can Do What Taylor Swift Is Doing!

Today, having lunch alone and browsing through the news feed on my Facebook. Suddenly, I saw this music video, 'Begin Again' by Taylor Swift, posted by my cousin sister. Immediately I felt 'in love' with the music video as I already 'in love' with the song so much since it was released. Taylor Swift wrote such a beautiful love song.

I am not obsess about Taylor Swift, I am just admiring her talents where every songs that she wrote is based on her life experiences. How nice if I can write songs about my life experience; something like:- in love, missing someone, hurts, disappointed, angry about something, grateful and thankful about something, my loved ones, my friends, etc. I believe that this can be one of the ways to share my feelings and emotions.

If I can write these songs like Teardrops On My Guitar, when I am sad and down; Back To December, about my regrets in life and how I wish I can turn back the time to fix it; Ours, when I am in love; You Belong With Me, when I am secretly admiring someone; White Horse, when I am angry; or something like this song, Ronan, when I was heartbroken seeing my patients suffering from cancer.

One of the reasons why I like Country music because these Country artists, they don't just sing or just to sell a record, they write and they sing about life testimonies or stories that is very encouraging and inspiring to their listener! And these Country songs are my favorite and always inspire me like Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning) by Alan Jackson, Anyway by Martina McBride and Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood.

"Come on baby with me we're gonna fly away from here...

You were my best four years...

I remember your bare feet down the hallway,

I love you to the moon and back..."

- Ronan by Taylor Swift

The Beginning of Something New

Day 5, having lunch alone; again, already 3 times in this week. Well, I am still very much a stranger to this new environment where it will be my second home because I will be spending 9.5 hours out of my precious 24 hours in this place from Monday to Friday.

There is always a price to pay every time when you make a decision to move on from one season to another season or from one chapter to another chapter. Everyone wondered why I left my previous working place; the famous and glamorous to this small and not so famous place. Well, the reason of my leaving is not important anymore as I already left but at least I am really happy now with this current place where I am working. It is completely a new experience and excitement for me!

'PET CT Scan' is one of the new things that I learn here. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to gain this new experience although it is quite a dangerous thing to do especially handling with radioactive source. However, handling and encountering with cancer patients here in this place can be quite demotivating to me because it really break my heart seeing my patients going through the tough battle and their darkest times of their life. This kind of heartache is painful and it can even make me cry!

I am grateful and thankful, and also really blessed that God use all these cancer patients to touch and soften my heart especially at times when my heart is so harden! God also use them to encourage and to inspire me to live my life to the fullest and also to live it purposefully! All these cancer patients; they are fighting really hard to live another day and they didn't give up on hope! How about me, or us, who are healthy and strong, shall we just give up easily just because of a little or a simple thing happen while these people didn't give up and keep fighting. To those who ever have the thought of suicide, please think again! Look at these people, who are dying to live another day while you can have today and yet, you just want to end it because of a failure? Aren't that silly to have such a thought or decision to commit suicide?

Just only 5 days here but what I gained and learned is far more than I can imagine. The experience that I gained and the lesson that I learned is so priceless and precious! It really can help to shape my character especially to be more humble, to treasure whatever I have and not to take things for granted like my loved ones.

Life is a GIFT; it is not about how long it lasted but how we live it!

God bless! :)

This Pain Is Just Too Real...

Tired and unhappy for almost two weeks; colorful theme park no longer that fun anymore especially the emotional roller-coaster ride!

Today, for a short moment, I sat down quietly and I prayed! Prayer answered and I sensed the Lord was reminded me that the pain is something very real, no matter how deep it is and it takes time to heal; God heals in His perfect timing!

Amen! Gotta be strong and keep moving on!

Strange Dream

I met this person seven months ago; he is arrogant, harsh and not friendly! I was so disappointed with his attitude during our very first conversation on phone; he was so rude! >=(

I dislike him but guess what, last night, I dreamed about him and his family! -strange but so true!- He was there in my dream together with his family. And I was there to take a family portrait for him and his family. Before I reached out my DSLR camera, he passed me a smartphone to capture the family portrait. So, I used that smartphone and took the family portrait for him and his family and then I showed it to him. And he was happy with result of the family portrait.

*as usual, once you woke up, you will not remember much details about your dream and it happens to me!*

So the final detail of the dream that I remembered before I woke up, is where he invited me to eat together with him and his family on a round dining table.

To me, the dream is strange but the strangest things is not about dreaming of him, is the changes of my perspective about him after I woke up from my dream! I guess I saw the softer side of him in my dream where he is someone so caring and loving, so gentle and kind. So, the dislike feeling about him is getting lesser! Hmm... That's so strange!

Journey to Confirmation - Part 2

Mixed feeling about the confirmation... Don't know why but I think I will not investigate it because I think it is not that crucial! Let's move on...

Anyway, I am so thankful about this journey; although it wasn't an easy journey! God is great and He never fails to show me His AWESOMENESS and His blessings throughout these six months!

Looking back now, wow, I had grown up so much in six months time from spiritually to mentally and also emotionally! And I had gained many valuable experiences too! That's really awesome! If without God and all the fantastic people like my family and friends, I will not have make it this far!

I was so blessed, thankful and grateful about something that took place last night and it was the highlight of my confirmation where two of my AWESOME colleagues who are also my GREAT friends, brought me out for a fantastic dinner to celebrate my confirmation! I was so happy and I am so blessed! ;)

from left; Arif and Suku

"Rif & Suku, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! You guys have made my day! ;) Thank you for always being there for me! I am so blessed to have both of you and the rest in the department who never fail to help me and guide me throughout these six months!"

Heavenly Daddy, thank you for everything and thank you for Your faithfulness and also Your blessings! I love You!

Cheerio ;)

Journey to Confirmation - Part 1

Yesterday, I finally received my confirmation letter saying that I already passed my six months probation! I should be excited and happy about it BUT that wasn't my feeling yesterday; I had a mixed feeling instead! I really don't why I was feeling this way!

Then, I walked towards my locker room and before I put my confirmation letter into the locker, I prayed and I thanked God; without Him and His guidance and strength, I don't think that I will be able to make it this far! Thank you Lord!

When I started this new journey, six months ago, I started it with excitement but also fear and uncertainty! But God blessed me with strength to walk my each day with faith! As I am looking back, although I had a mixed feeling about this journey but I am very thankful for where I am now! Seriously, I cried many times, I lost hope many times and I was fearful and stressful many times throughout the six months; not an easy journey to travel though!

Mixed feeling; I really don't know why but I am really really really thankful and grateful about my confirmation!

Memories...

The photograph above is taken @ Taiping Lake Garden, Perak, Malaysia

Just now, I was looking back on some of my old photo albums in Facebook. And I am feeling so thankful to the Lord for the AWESOME journey that I had traveled so far and I also feeling so blessed for all the PRICELESS and PRECIOUS moments that were nicely captured down!

All praises and glories to the Lord! Cheerio =)

Be Still...

"Be still, and know that I am God -Psalm 46:10"

I am going through a challenging time now! I am getting weaker and weaker each day; finding that this life of mine is getting tougher and harder to journey on...

I wanted to make a difference in my own life and wanted to stay away from my comfort zone! Successfully leaving my comfort zone BUT not too sure did I make the right decision... Now, already two months plus, still going through raging sea, wave after wave, thunderstorm here and there; financial difficulties, financial commitment, phone giving up, laptop giving up, mummy still not fully adapting well causing small arguments between us, then need to take charge of so many things, this and that... Many times, I broke down; cry before the Lord, questioning Him and doubting Him and also myself for making wrong decision! Ahhhh.... Everything goes hire-wired and upside down!

Sad and down; trying very hard to make it through, hoping that month after month to come, things will turn out better... I am waiting and hoping! But somehow something is still missing... What I am missing out now? TRUSTING in the Lord is what I miss out...

"When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm,
Father you are king over the flood,
I will be still and know you are God.
-Still, by Hillsong"

I just quiet down myself today and I prayed! Then, I remembered the song above and I sang the chorus to reaffirmed myself that I need to BE STILL and know that GOD is always GOD! Reality is too real, sometimes too real until I can't handle it... God, He is a real God too and nothing is too difficult for Him to handle but why am I acting like this; doubtful, worry and feeling defeated! From this moment onwards, it is the time for me to surrender my all to Him; letting go my hands and let Him take the wheels... He is my father and He will definitely take good care of me and watching over me because I am His precious son!

Are you going through a raging sea right now? Remember, it is the time to learn on how to TRUST in Him and BE STILL and know that He is God!

Taste The Rainbow

After lunch today, I realized that I am out of sweets! So, I quickly rushed to the shop to get some sweets. Suddenly I saw my all-time favorite sweets; Skittles! ;) And I couldn't resist it, so I bought it!

Immediately, I opened up the packet of Skittles and poured out a few on my hand and put it into my mouth! Mmmm... Yummy... I really enjoyed the chewiness, the sweetness and also the strong aroma of the gummy fruits smell... Ahhhh, AWESOME!!! Then, another few again into mouth, again and again... Every moments with Skittles in my mouth was wwwooonnnnddderrrffffuuuulllll... ;)

Then, I turned the packaging of Skittles around as I was chewing it in my mouth and suddenly I saw something on the packaging that caught my attention; the Skittles tagline "Taste The Rainbow" and then I smiled ;) Why?

"God said... Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."
- Genesis 9:16

Whenever I see a rainbow, it will remind me about God, who is faithfully keeping His promises! Because of His faithfulness in keeping His promises, as His child, I get to enjoy His awesome blessings. That's why I smiled when I saw the tagline "Taste The Rainbow!" because it reminded me that tasting the rainbow -eating the Skittles- is just like experiencing God's blessings through His faithfulness in keeping His promises; so much joy, so sweet and so excited!

I never thought that the experience of eating Skittles today had reminded me about God's faithfulness! ;) Praise the Lord!

Have a blessed "Tasting the Rainbow" experience ya!
God bless & Cheerio ;)